Pros & Cons of Writing Your Vows

14 Feb 2020

When it comes to vows, it can be hard to make the big decision: to write your own or stick to tradition.

Though hit Hollywood movies show some tear-joking moments with custom vows coming straight from the heart, it can be incredibly difficult to come to the final decision. It's safe to say that vows are a vital part of the day, tying you and your partner together, so when choosing between the traditional vows and writing your own, it's important that you completely understand what you're agreeing to.

Today, we thought we'd share the pros and cons of writing your own vows.

Pro: Modern and Fresh

"For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..." Even if you've never been to a wedding before, there's a high chance you've heard the traditional vows before. They're well-known and have been used since the 16th century.

Nobody can deny that the traditional vows are beautiful, they've been used for bringing two people together in matrimony for centuries, however by writing your own vows you'll be coming away from things people have heard before. Your words will be modern and new, allowing you to say exactly how you're feeling in your very own words.

Not only does this give you the flow to say what you want and when you want to say it, but it'll also help ensure your guests are really listening. Alike us, most of your guests will have heard the traditional vows, whether they're from a religious or civil ceremony. So by having something new in the mix, your guests will sit up and listen when they hear that you're expressing yourself in a way that they may not have been expecting.

Con: Not Everyone Will Agree

Traditions are tried and true, which is why people tend to stick to them. Sometimes, people are really worried about change and tend to stick to what they know. It's because of this, that some family members, loved ones and friends may try to encourage you to step away from the idea.

Though you're within your own right to make the decision, having people telling you that this is something you shouldn't do, can make you feel a little uncomfortable and second guess things. It can cause an amount of pressure that you may not have been prepared for, making you wonder whether you should scrap the hand-written vows to please more people.

Remember, this is your big day! It's about you and your partner coming together and becoming one. Try not to let the naysayers and opinionated ones effect how you're planning on having your day.

Pro: A Trip Down Memory Lane

There's no rulebook on how your own vows should sound, but a lot of the time couples tend to opt for taking a trip down memory lane during the writing process to help find the right words to say. This in itself is a great feeling and can get you even more excited for the wedding and allows you to open up and express your feeling in that romantic-gushy way we all love!

Cons: Different Tones

The good thing about traditional vows is having them fit with each other. When giving someone the chance to write whatever they want, two different tones can come together and it can sound uncomfortable. You may have gone for a more sincere approach whereas your partner might have riddled their vows with inside jokes that nobody else will really get.

Of course, you can't control what someone else is writing, and you won't want to spoil it by seeing or hearing the vows before the big day... So it's important to discuss the tone you're both going for as much as you can without taking control of everything. Even with these sorts of discussions, there will always be the risk that your vows won't fit the same tone throughout.

Pro: Yours Forever

Though writing your own vows can take a lot of thought-power and cause a lot of pressure, nothing really beats saying them to the person you love in front of people. This is a moment you'll be able to share with all your nearest and dearest forever... And that is a pro in our book!

Don't forget - though we may not be able to help you write your vows - we are able to help with our elements of your event. We have a range of different products and services available that can help create something unforgettable for you and your guests.

Fill out a contact form today or email liz@perfectplanningevents.co.uk to begin building your bespoke package.